Bridezilla: The Origin Story

In this blog, I talk a lot about how anal I am, but I'm actually a pretty laid back person.  I don't care if you like me, I don't care if you're drunk and I don't really care what anyone does as long as it's not hurting anyone.  I've worked in retail, customer service and HR all of my life so I know how to deal with people, I know how to talk to people and I can keep a pretty cool head in crazy situations.  That being said, I now understand why women get so crazy around their wedding.

Let me start out by saying that my bridesmaids, my mother and my sister who isn't in the wedding party have been great.  They've been very helpful and I really appreciate them.

Because I do like things a certain way, I've chosen to do most of the preparation myself.  Obviously this can be stressful along with a full time job, but I'd be more stressed out if I let someone else do the work and had to worry about whether it was being done.  The one thing I did let go was my bachelorette party, but beyond that, I've been a part of everything.

Because my fiance's parents are paying for the hall, we had to make concessions.  My fiance let them choose his entire side of the guest list.  We didn't want that big of a wedding so we can only have 150 people.  Of those people, they were allowed to invite 75, but they wanted to invite 150 all on their own.  We had to shut this down, obviously and it all ended up working out.  I do have a B list once I get some "no" RSVPs but at this point, I'm fine with who is invited and I don't really want to send out a second round of invitations.

They also wanted a candy table.  I feel like candy tables are awesome for a child's birthday party or a baby shower but NOT a wedding.  But they saw it at a different wedding and the wedding was so much fun that they wanted it at ours so I let it go.  Whatever.   I was planning on having the wedding favors be small mason jars with M&Ms in them and each person's place setting on top, so I just made the place settings favor bags.  Problem solved.

Next there was an issue with the groomsmen getting fitted for their tuxes -- the issue being that they're lazy.  They received phone calls and Facebook message reminders, but it wasn't until I copied their wives and girlfriends in on a Facebook message that they all got fitted (a day before the deadline).  Well, all but one groomsmen who lives out in the country and nowhere near a tux shop.  Nevertheless.  He waited 5 months after the deadline to get fitted and it took my fiance basically telling him that he could do whatever he wanted -- if he got his tux, he could be in the wedding and if he showed up without one, then he couldn't.

People don't realize how hurtful it is to commit to something and then not be able to do two things: get fitted for a tux and show up at the right time in it.  If you don't want to be in the wedding party, say so.  I hate being a bridesmaid and I never want to do it again.  If someone asked, I'd probably tell them, "I'll help out where I can, but I would not like to be in the wedding party itself."

My sister has two small children.  My finance and I agreed that the wedding would be 21 and up.  This is better for everyone -- the children won't hear music that swears or be subject to drunk rowdy adults, the adults don't have to worry about children, the bartenders don't have to worry about serving someone underage and it helps us keep the headcount under 150 people.  At my bridal shower, my sister said to her 3 year old, "are you going to dance at the wedding?"  It was then that I realized that even though I gave no signals about her kids coming to the wedding, she assumed they were.  We're not close so I texted her letting her know the reception is 21 and up, but the kids could come to the ceremony.  This caused drama.  At 6AM the next morning, my mom texted me saying that there was confusion about whether or not kids were invited.  Were the bridal party members' kids invited?  Were my younger cousins invited?  NO THE RECEPTION IS 21 AND UP!  My cousin who recently graduated high school isn't invited.  All of the wedding party members' dates are over 21.

Then I went to my parents' house to pick up things I left after the bridal shower and my dad said, "There was a question over whether your sister's kids would be invited to the wedding."  It was at this point that I first transformed into Bridezilla on my poor father, "NO -- THERE IS NO QUESTION.  I TOLD HER FLAT OUT THAT THE RECEPTION IS 21 AND UP!"  This seemed to be the end of the discussion but it still frustrates me thinking about it.

The next issue has come with the ceremony.  We don't want a lot of people at the ceremony.  In order to make it simple and fair, the only people invited are the dates of the bridal party, immediate family and grandparents.  I find it really weird when people "I can't wait to see your ceremony."  I find it creepy and voyeuristic.  Why do you want to watch me kiss my fiance AND the ceremony is the most boring part.  It's a formality before the party. Separate invitations were sent out.  It's not unusual to do it.  Why would there be a problem, right?

We are having the ceremony in my fiance's parents' back yard and we told them many times before the invitations were even sent that the ceremony would be very small.  One day we were at their house and my fiance's father said "I don't care who shows up at the ceremony, if they show up, they show up."  Personally, I feel like if they show up on the day off unannounced, there's not much we can do about it, but we don't have to invite or encourage them before the fact.  We ended up having a bridal party and family meeting a couple of days later where we explained to everyone that we only rented 30 chairs for the ceremony and not to encourage anyone who isn't invited to the ceremony to come.  His mother made the comment that people just tend to show up at their house which is true.  People show up there unannounced all the time to hang out with them.  My assumption is that they'll all be getting ready for the reception and not have time to stop by so as long as we don't encourage them or tell them to come, they'll be too busy.

Apparently that wasn't good enough for my fiance's mother because a lot of the guests live a few hours away and she thinks it is rude to not invite them to the ceremony.  Quite frankly, I don't care and for all we know, they might not even realize they're not invited to the ceremony until they get to the reception and notice that the ceremony doesn't happen.

I also realized that I probably can't trust the groomsmen to set up the chairs, backdrop, aisle-way and anything else that may need to be set up for the ceremony due to the laziness they displayed with their tuxes so I asked my oldest sister to show up early and make sure that everything is set up correctly.  My fiance found this insulting as if he couldn't follow simple instructions to make sure everything was set up.  So that caused an argument.  Also my other sister who is in the wedding suggested that I have someone else go with my oldest sister so she doesn't feel awkward and alone which just added another layer of stress to my plans.

Add on to all of this random drama that our savings is dwindling from buying centerpieces, renting a tux, buying a wedding dress, buying and mailing invitations and numerous other things.  This added stress about money is causing more arguments.

And this, this, my friends is how a perfectly laid back woman starts to lose it and turn into Bridezilla.  Weddings are stressful no matter how calm of a person you are, no matter how much time you have and no matter how much money you have.  If I were to do it all again, I would have eloped to Vegas and gotten married by Elvis which was my original plan for many years.

*Sigh*  One more month til it's all over and Bridezilla is laid to rest.

Bridal Shower Part 1: Food and Drink

My Bridal Shower was a couple of weeks ago and I've been so busy, I haven't had time to blog about it.  I don't want to say that I'm anal, but I know what I want and I'd rather do things myself so I know that things are done right.  So I basically planned my entire shower.  It should also be said that two out of four of my bridesmaids live out of state and wouldn't be able to make it to the shower or help out.  Also, I had originally told everyone my shower would be June 7th, but then for whatever reason, decided to change it to June 14th.  June 14th happened to be during my 3rd bridesmaid's step-daughter's class trip to Chicago so she wasn't going to be there either.  I felt bad, but I did it to myself-- that's the price you pay when you want to do it all on your own.

We had the shower at my parents' house.  They live in a nice area with a 4 car garage and they also have two large canopies that they put up for parties.  The Weather Channel was of no help the weeks before the shower.  One day it would say 72 and party cloudy, the next day 82 and rainy -- sometimes the weather forecast would change in the same day.It was very frustrating and the final forecast was in the 80s with thunder showers.  The day was extremely muggy and the sun peaked out about an hour before the shower and made it extremely hot and sweaty out.  Just before the shower, it began to pour which made it a little better.  We ended up hanging large s-hooks on the poles of the canopy so that people could hang their umbrellas to dry once they came.

Anyway, on to the food and drink portion as promised.  We expected about 35-40 people to attend the shower.  So we ordered a variety of sandwiches from the grocery store: one ham and cheese slider platter and two pita pocket platters (for people who don't like ham/pork).  In retrospect, we should have ordered two of the ham slider platters and one of the pita pocket platters.  The ham was a hit.

Kroger.com

For sides, we had potato chips, pita chips with hummus, a Caesar salad and a pickle tray.

Kroger.com

For dessert we, of course, had a cake as well as a brownie platter.  Originally I wanted to order a half sheet Costco cake, but I wanted a marble cake with buttercream frosting, but Costco doesn't do either of those things so we just had to order it from another grocery store.  It was delicious though.  I found the silhouettes on the cake by googling free clip art and then the people at the bakery improvised the air brushing.  I thought it came out pretty cool. 

 We also had a brownie platter just in case there were people who didn't want cake.

Kroger.com

As for the beverages, we had my fiance's family's punch that they make for all special occasions.  It's very simple to make: mix a can of frozen orange juice, a can of frozen lemonade, two and a half bottles of seven up and a fifth of Southern Comfort together.  Then add a jar of maraschino cherries.  It's delicious.  

We also had Raspberry Vodka Limeade Slush.  Here's a recipe http://www.thekitchn.com/quick-cocktail-raspberry-limea-59664  -- we left the vodka on the side so that any little ones could try it too,

The last alcoholic beverage we served was moscato sangria.  I just bought it in a bottle and added sliced lemons, limes and oranges.  Surprisingly enough it was not as big of a hit as I thought it would be.

With all of the alcohol being served, we, of course, served bottled water.  I'd seen an idea online where you wrap the bottles in duct tape to give them a personal touch.  We chose mustache duct tape and pink zebra stripe.  Originally I was cutting the labels off of the water bottles and wrapping them in duct tape but then I felt it was just tedious and time consuming.  Duct tape isn't transparent anyway and it was thick enough to cover the water bottle labels so I just stopped cutting the labels off.

And that's about all we, well I, did for food and drink for the shower.  You do, of course, need ice to keep everything cool.

Next week will be all about favors and decorations. :-)

Dollar Store Floral Centerpieces

I'm getting married later this year and there are hundreds if not thousands of inexpensive centerpiece ideas floating around the internet.  Here's something I've come up with that can be made with items found at the dollar store.  I usually just go to the local Dollar Tree.  They're quick, easy and can be made for under $4.00 per centerpiece.

What you'll need:

• A round glass vase
• A bouquet of artificial flowers
• Clear Hair Gel
• A Mason Jar
• A round LED Light with an adhesive bottom
• Batteries for the LED light

For the first centerpiece, take the round glass vase and fill it about half way full with the hair gel.  Luckily this hair gel smelled like Swedish Fish so it didn't smell bad when left in an open container.  You should probably smell the gel before buying it to make sure it has a scent you like.  Next, slide one of the flowers and two of the leaves off their stems.  Place the leaves down in the gel wherever you think looks good.  I used the remaining stem of the flowers to press the leaves into the the gel a little bit so they'd stay put.  Once you have the leaves where you want them, put in the flower and position it how you want to.  Once again, I used the stem to push it into the gel a little bit so it wouldn't flop over...AND THAT'S IT.

I think this would be a great little centerpiece for you dining room table.

The mason jar centerpiece is very similar, but it has a LED light stuck under the lid to make it glow even when there isn't sunlight.  This is a 24oz wide mouth mason jar that I just had laying around the house, but the dollar store does sell mason jars as well.  When you buy a case of mason jars from the store, it does round out to be about $1.00/ jar.

So the concept is the same.  Fill the mason jar about half way full with clear hair gel and then strategically place your leaves and flower with a chopstick, a straw or the stem of the flowers.  Then take your LED light and put batteries in it, remove the paper from the adhesive back and stick the LED light to the inside of the lid of the mason jar.

Push down the light so that it's on and place the lid on top of the jar and screw it on.  That's all there is to it.  You can add other different sized jars to make a wedding centerpiece or just use one in the middle of a patio table for a barbecue.

They glow beautifully even when it's light out.

And when the lights are low, the light creates a beautiful pattern on the table.